Saturday, December 5, 2009

Guest poster: Ulani - "Tis the Season"

See the pine in my hair? See it there, smack dab in the middle of this mugshot Johanna took? Well, if you're a regular here you probably think "Ulani decided to start decorating for the holidays!" Wouldn't that be cute? But you'd be wrong. Dead wrong. Here's my story.

Lately when we get up in the morning it's very dark outside. The sun doesn't come up for an hour or more. Some days there's moonlight filtering through the snow clouds and anyone can see what's in the yard, but Oskar and I don't need that -- we have our noses. Any critter that's been through our yard has left a scent, and we sniff 'em all.

The past week or so we've smelled rabbit every morning. Don't think Easter Bunny, or Bugs. This is stinkin', stupid rabbit. In the winter they like to make their nests on our septic mound. Then in spring they have babies, and sometimes the babies freeze overnight when the stupid rabbits go off. Oskar and I call those Bun-sicles.

But I digress.

Today, Saturday morning, we got up really early because we went to bed at 8:00 last night. That's no typo -- Johanna was freezing cold and said "let's watch tv in bed!" like it was a big treat. "Let's watch tv in bed and eat popcorn", now that's a treat! But this was a treat-less offer. Of course within twenty minutes she was snoring away, so we went to sleep, too.

Well, when we got up this morning we raced to the door, and when Johanna opened it Oskar and I flew across the grass, looking for the stinkin' rabbit. I smelled it good. And this morning I found it. I chased it across the septic, I chased it through the pine trees, then I caught it and shook it until it went limp. Johanna came outside and called "biscuits!" but I did not go to her. That was a mistake. In poker they call that a "tell" because it shows that something is going on. And how! I was just having the first couple of crunchy chomps when Johanna appeared and took me into custody. That's when I had my mugshot made. With the pine needles in my face.

When we went back outside the stupid rabbit was gone. But I have my memories. 'Tis the season for bunny.


Anonymous said...

I loved the story. Just wanted you to know I'm a fan.

Anonymous said...

Ulani, Ulani, Ulani! Please try to be a good girl and leave the poor rabbits alone. I know you call it fun, but I don't think the poor little rabbits would agree with you. Listen to "Mom", or who knows what your next mug shot will look like!!

Lots of Hugs and Kisses,

Auntie June

MaryEllen Schneider said...

Poor Johanna. It's not fun when our little darlings show us they're still animals.

Guess I'll consider myself lucky that mine do it by rolling in disgusting stuff whenever they get the chance.

Melissa H. said...

Oh, Ulani! Violence is not the answer. Snoopy was friends with the rabbits. They danced around together and had fun. Try making friends with the rabbits tomorrow morning. You might be surprised.

Johanna said...

I'll tell you who will be surprised if Ulani makes friends with the bunnies tomorrow morning...!!!

Anonymous said...

Oskar and I call those Bun-sicles.


'Tis the season for bunny.

Yes Indeedy !!

Great Story !!! Thanks for posting !!!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes we're in just too big a hurry! Don't worry, it happens to the best of us :)