Friday, June 1, 2012

Stinky Emilio Takes a Walk

This evening I put the leash on Ulani, but it turned out to be her alter-ego, Stinky Emilio, who joined me on our walk.  I decided we ought to write about our adventure together.  Here is our conversation.

ME:  Stinky, what should we tell our readers about our walk?

SE:  Dead raccoon!  Dead raccoon!  Don't forget about the dead raccoon!  Boy it smelled great!  It was a dead raccoon!

ME:  Yes, it wasn't very big was it, but I'm sure when you put your big nose right on top of it, it must have smelled quite a bit.  Is that what you've been smelling in the ditch the past few days?

SE:  There's poop in there!  Cat poop!  And raccoon poop!  From a dead raccoon!  Let's go again!  And don't pull my neck off this time!  It smelled great!

ME:  I think we might walk a different route tomorrow.  Maybe we'll go to the park.  Would you like to go to the park?

SE:  Go!  Park!  Go!  Park!

ME:  We'll see how the weather is, ok?  In the meantime, is there anything else you would like to share about our walk?

SE:  Bunny!  I chased a bunny!  A white bunny butt!  It was a bunny!  Then it was humongous!  It was a humongous bunny running through the cornfield!  Huge!  I made it grow!

ME:  Well, Stinky, you know what really happened, don't you?

SE:  Really?  It was real!  It was a bunny!  I chased it!  Then it was humongous!  Oh, it was a terrific time!

ME:  Stinky, the bunny ran into the undergrowth and it was just coincidence that a deer was on the other side.  That wasn't a bunny tail running across the field, it was a deer.

SE:  Bunny!  Huge, humongous, it smelled great!  I smelled bunny!  It smelled great!

[This exchange continued along similar lines for a few minutes.  No need to transcribe her entire, misinformed discourse.]

ME:  Stinky Emilio, I noticed that your chest and legs are full of sticky-plant.  (Ed. note, Stickiass plantias.)  Where did you pick up all those sticky little green balls?

SE:  It was the bunny!

ME:  Never a dull moment.


Anonymous said...

Have fun combing those little green fuzzy balls out of Stinky's fur!!
Maybe next time Ulani will come along. eh, eh, mom

Melissa H. said...

Stinky Emilio sounds like the dog from the dog and cat diaries. Why do I get the feeling that Ulani isn't much better behaved? Have fun on your next walk. In a different direction :)

The Bog Bloggers said...

I love this piece of writing -- I can just see Ulani (I mean Stinky Emilio)! Brought a smile to my face. Our dog Auggie has an alter ego -- Chicken Chaser -- who has similar ideas. Unfortunately these ideas are all about chickens and that Chicken Chaser gets 'em! So excited he is, but when I confront Auggie, he seems to know nothing. Must be Chicken Chaser. Similarly, when anything weird happens at our house -- things misplaced or missing (I wonder how that happens) -- the kids reply, "Maureen and Bob must have done it." Maureen and Bob the neighbors? Hmmmm.....