Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Terrorist Shows its Colors

Around 6:15 this morning I was awoken by the roosters' alarm calls, harmonizing with terrified hens clucking.  I leapt from bed, grabbed some pants and a sweatshirt, sent Ulani and the cats ahead of me.  Hey, I'm no fool.

Once decently attired and with duckie slippers to keep the dew from my toes, I raced to the barn.  Organized chaos greeted me.  While the alarms kept going off, all birds seemed to be in their places.  I turned on all the lights and talked gently to help things settle down.  Then all of a sudden there was a massive crescendo.  I turned around and saw it, there, climbing the wall to get to the second floor, squishing itself through the space between the floorboards and the siding.

Raccoon.

Is anyone surprised?  Not me.  I made some loud cursing noises, threw a few things for good measure.  Then I left the barn for five minute to allow things to settle a bit.  And to plan my next steps.

I returned with a sharp pair of scissors.  And with them, I started cutting more of my green plastic mesh fencing to staple over all the spaces between the floorboards and the siding leading to the second floor of the barn.  Bang bang bang!  I stapled one section, then moved junk out of the way so I could relocate the ladder for the next section.  Bang bang bang!

Suddenly a loud Bang rang out behind me!  "G*d d#@n sh)^t f@$X!!!" I screamed.  Then I turned and saw Barnard, looking a little perplexed at my outburst.  Oops.  A bit trigger happy.  She sat on her ledge while I bang bang banged along.  Until...

She began hissing and screaming.  I turned around, and saw the raccoon exiting the upstairs of the barn through the spaces between the flooring and siding on Barnard's side, right by the door into the dog yard.  Apparently the raccoon was too busy looking over its left shoulder at Barnard, for it failed to see Ulani over its right shoulder until it was on the ground.  When her barking began.  Sending the 'coon climbing the barn right up to the soffit and back into the upstairs.  

Aargh.

So I finished the west side and now I'm taking a break in case the raccoon wants to come out this side.  Of course Ulani is staring at the barn.  I would welcome the opportunity for her to grab that sucker and shake it until its neck snaps.  But I don't think that's going to happen.

I will close up the east side spaces, then leave the chickens inside today.  It will be hot in the barn -- forecast high of 80 -- so I'll try to staple mesh over the open door to deter wayward raccoons.

Then I will plot my revenge.

6 comments:

Susan LaCroix said...

Yikes! I'm glad it didn't get anything today! Also glad you found out what it is and saw it! Good luck with revenge. That thing sure has caused quite the terror in your adorable barn.

greelyrita said...

I don't think plastic fencing will present much of a deterent to a determined raccoon. It will thwart only hasty passage. I've heard they can bite through chicken wire but I don't know about that. They like to prowl quietly at night. The dog would certainly make that impossible.

The Japanese Redneck said...

We have a live trap....they are suckers for can cat food in it.

They get moved to a different zip code.

Rose H (UK) said...

I'd get a live trap like The Japanese Redneck, but that's because I love racoons...I don't have to live with them though.
However, I am pleased that you've found out exactly what the terrorist is

Melissa H. said...

Maw! Git the shotgun! Thar's a coon in the barn! Ulani, it's time to channel your inner coon hound.

Kaveh Maguire said...

They are the worst. I "third" the live trap. My father had an entire family ( and extended family and distant cousins) move into his attic and as fast as he has them relocated new ones arrive to take their place.

Actually with that in mind I would recommend a "not-so-live" trap.