This evening I put the leash on Ulani, but it turned out to be her alter-ego, Stinky Emilio, who joined me on our walk. I decided we ought to write about our adventure together. Here is our conversation.
ME: Stinky, what should we tell our readers about our walk?
SE: Dead raccoon! Dead raccoon! Don't forget about the dead raccoon! Boy it smelled great! It was a dead raccoon!
ME: Yes, it wasn't very big was it, but I'm sure when you put your big nose right on top of it, it must have smelled quite a bit. Is that what you've been smelling in the ditch the past few days?
SE: There's poop in there! Cat poop! And raccoon poop! From a dead raccoon! Let's go again! And don't pull my neck off this time! It smelled great!
ME: I think we might walk a different route tomorrow. Maybe we'll go to the park. Would you like to go to the park?
SE: Go! Park! Go! Park!
ME: We'll see how the weather is, ok? In the meantime, is there anything else you would like to share about our walk?
SE: Bunny! I chased a bunny! A white bunny butt! It was a bunny! Then it was humongous! It was a humongous bunny running through the cornfield! Huge! I made it grow!
ME: Well, Stinky, you know what really happened, don't you?
SE: Really? It was real! It was a bunny! I chased it! Then it was humongous! Oh, it was a terrific time!
ME: Stinky, the bunny ran into the undergrowth and it was just coincidence that a deer was on the other side. That wasn't a bunny tail running across the field, it was a deer.
SE: Bunny! Huge, humongous, it smelled great! I smelled bunny! It smelled great!
[This exchange continued along similar lines for a few minutes. No need to transcribe her entire, misinformed discourse.]
ME: Stinky Emilio, I noticed that your chest and legs are full of sticky-plant. (Ed. note, Stickiass plantias.) Where did you pick up all those sticky little green balls?
SE: It was the bunny!
ME: Never a dull moment.